Realizations of A Blind Man

 You can't make her happy like before and it's killing you like poison even if you're happy with her. It's hard to make someone happy when they think that you'll screw up  again but it's harder to feel that she is not like before. 

You screwed up. Restoring what is normal is like giving a blind man hope that he will see a rainbow again. I know you love her with everything you've got but ask yourself, does she love you like before? Did she change because she loves you or did she change because she's protecting herself from you? 

You screwed up. And I know that you are sorry for what you did. But can she see that? Can she forgive you with full extent and without add ons? Can she love you like before?

You can fix this. Even if she suspect things from you and even if she brings up the past, always remind yourself that you love the old her and you will wait for the old her to come back even if she doesn't. 

She

It was a surprise. I talked to her about the things I do everyday, the things I’ve been thinking and the things I want to do with my life. She was a serendipity and she was the best surprise ever. 

I fell in love with you. I didn’t expect that ever. I said that I won’t fall in love with you but I guess I did and I am currently in the deepest part, still falling. I love you if you think that I don’t sometimes. Even if you don’t feel it sometimes, it’s there. Just ask me and I’ll respond with love. 

I am currently writing this while waiting for you. But I am really glad that you are part of my life. If we don’t have the luxury of time or place, then we will find a way. I will make time and I will never stop finding time for you. You are the one thing that a lot of people are searching for. 

And I am glad that you are mine,

El